Entry 8 – July 17 ‘The Documentary’ 

I watched Zachary’s documentary and cried. I seen him talk and dance and around and my heart died a little.

I cannot comprehend my life without my little bird. This is the hardest battle I will ever have to face. I cannot think of anything or anyone ever being more important than he was to me.

He looks like an angel, so angelic my little one was. I am suffering everyday because I miss you. Because I want you back. But that is selfish.

You were in pain and I hate that fact that I couldn’t help you. I couldn’t make you realise that life was worth living. I hate myself for not being able to save you. I feel like my words were not enough, my love wasn’t enough.

I love you more than life itself and I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. I will love you forever.

And as I have been progressing through the system both as a bereaved sister and as a girl witnessing the pain of her family coming to terms with the loss of their beloved son to suicide. I feel like I am the one supporting them. Should this ulitimately be the case?

Should this be happening? What other things can help a family in my situation? What support systems need to be put in place in make sure my famly are adequaltely cared for?

My blog is something I hope can bring peoples attention oto the detrimental after effects of suicide and what it does to family members.

Alcohol awareness at university and during school needs updated. The problem is evident and the issue is right now. 

Suicide is spreading faster than a deadly disease but in all seriousness, maybe it is a deadly disease. So far it seems incurable. 

What can we do, how can we make it stop? How can I stop another sister from going through what I have? I am exploring avenues of opportunity, wondering where it might lead me. 

Please take a couple of minutes to watch the documentary below created by Zachary’s friend Cara Hunter. 
Suicide – Irelands Forgotten Troubles

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